It's like that in our culture
Abba Barsanuphe: “When I was in rehabilitation, a missionary confrere shared with us that in his mission country, whenever he visited a family, they automatically offered him a drink. And that in the villages when he went for pastoral visits, in addition to giving him a drink, he was offered a girl to spend the night. As a result, he returned to his country of origin with four children from two different mothers and his health deteriorated due to alcohol abuse and night rides. A long time after his testimony, when relationships of friendship and trust were established between us, we spoke again about this experience during a session where we were invited to question each other in our rehabilitation process. In our exchanges it became truly clear to us that the so-called culture that he rightly or wrongly accused to clear himself, without being false, could not take away his responsibility. Indeed, as a missionary, is he not invited to evangelise and purify the cultures he encounters in his mission? Has he not been told during his formation that no culture is neither good nor bad in itself, and that all need to be purified by the Gospel?
Indeed, no one gets drunk by imagining the smell of wine but by drinking it. And in his case, it is not the contact with this culture where alcohol and women are omnipresent that lost him but rather his predisposition to welcome this part of the culture (without considering the meaning given to his life) because it fulfilled his desire to compensate, to fill the void caused by the separation from his native land. Indeed, he was not at all obliged to consume either the alcohol or the women presented to him.
But what does this anecdote have to do with us? In the previous sheet I spoke of an unwritten tradition of having daily aperitifs (a Western tradition?) in our communities, of systematically encouraging watered-down evenings as a means of being together, of welcoming confreres (so much the better if it is a superior) passing through with bottles in the name of hospitality. I question these habits and customs ab imo pectore, in practice. Here I would like to underline a real fact before addressing the cultural aspect related to the consumption of alcohol in our circles. I remember as if it were yesterday a Petit Echo devoted to the simple lifestyle. A confrere (who was the Regional at the time), was shocked by the amount of alcohol consumed during the last plenary council in which he had just participated. Personally, I witnessed an evening of plenary council: in all my student life I had never seen so many dead bottles to be thrown in the bin – which overflowed completely on occasion -. In this vein, when I was drinking, I loved and adored the beginnings and endings of the White Fathers’ meetings: There is mostly drink (in quantity and quality) and a bit of good food. All this seems so normal, even essential for our salvation as White Fathers, that we do not question or question ourselves. Let us bet that I cannot see very well and that I am phobic about the slightest drop of alcohol in our communities. Notwithstanding this, also take some of your sacred time to think about this way of life, this lifestyle.
I now return to the cultural aspect related to consumption. In some places, alcohol is offered to the visitor. In the countries I know where alcohol is served, this is neither automatic nor imposed. What is automatic and cultural is to offer refreshment to the visitor because of the harsh climate and the fact that in the past people travelled more on foot or on the back of a beast of burden. And this refreshment was not alcoholic at all. With the evolution of time and civilizations, and depending on the consideration given to the visitor, afterwards it is suggested to go and buy a beer or soda or the traditional drink for the poorer guests. The visitor is free to refuse the offer if he considers it necessary without the host feeling offended. There is no social pressure or rejection if a person should say no to an alcoholic drink offered to them. Otherwise, if a confrere had to visit 10 families a day, his 10 bottles of beer would be guaranteed, and the big question would be: what would his apostolate be made of that day? The flat excuse that we drink out of respect for the culture of the area does not hold water. Tell me if any parishioners have ever applauded their priests because they are drunk like some of them? Let us ask ourselves if in our own culture and in those we have embraced in our missionary life, society gives a good share to drunkards or alcoholics. Perhaps unknowingly or unwittingly, these cultures encourage alcohol addiction, but they do not consciously promote a laissez-faire attitude towards alcohol.
A few questions to think about
- In connection with my friend’s sharing, the words of Benedict XVI on Mt 5: 17-19 came to mind: “Today’s mentality proposes a freedom that is detached from values, rules, and objective norms, and invites us to reject everything that limits momentary desires. But this type of proposal, instead of leading to true freedom, leads the person to be a slave to himself, to his immediate desires, to idols such as power, money, unbridled pleasure, and the seductions of the world, making him incapable of following his innate vocation to love”. (Benedict XVI, Message for the 25th Youth Day, 2010) How do these words resonate within us?
- Aperitif-Digestif, Welcome-Hospitality, Get Together-Convivencia (so many words related to culture that give the right to drink):
What cultural elements which are in themselves positives (perhaps) would (perhaps) encourage alcohol abuse in my location?? - John 4, 1-19: Jesus asks the Samaritan woman for a drink, but not just any water. In the same way people and even confreres ask us to drink but not necessarily alcohol but this “Water” that gives life, in other words like the Samaritan woman we run the risk of “polyandry” or loss of self.
In the light of this Gospel, we ask ourselves:- Apart from alcohol, how can we better welcome confreres or people who visit us?
- With what do I quench my thirst and the thirst of the people I meet in my apostolate, in my mission?
